Monday

365 Times a Year! That’s No Bull



I took my wife to the State Fair and one of the exhibits is about breeding bulls. We came up to the first pen and there is a sign that says, “This Bull mated 50 times last year.”
My wife poked me in the ribs and said, “He mated 50 times last year.”
We walked a little further and saw another pen with a sign, “This Bull mated 120 times last year.”
My wife hit me and said, “That’s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.”
We walked a little further to a third pen with a Bull and a sign, “This Bull mated 365 times last year.”
My wife got really excited and said, “That’s once a day.” You could REALLY learn something from this one.”
I turned to my wife and replied,

“Go up and ask him if it was with the same ol’ cow.”



Read more: http://www.e-forwards.com/2010/09/365-times-a-year-thats-no-bull/#ixzz12hpU7cNJ

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Maxine and Halloween



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Ten Signs that you are too OLD for Halloween and Trick or Treating


10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

8. You ask for high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balanceand fall over.

6. People say, “Great Keith Richards mask!” and you’re not wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or…” and can’t remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.


Golden Years Humor
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