Observations on Growing Older -Funny one Liners about getting Old

Observations on Growing Older Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them ...but your grandchildren are perfect! Going out is good. Coming home is better! When people say you look "Great"... they add "for your age!" When you needed the discount you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything .... movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them. You forget names ... but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!! The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds. You realize you're never going to be really good at anything .... especially golf. ~Your husband is counting on you to remember things you don't remember. The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore. Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It's called his "pre-sleep". Remember when your mother said "Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident! You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married ... Now, "I hope they STAY married!" You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.. When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem .... were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table. You use more 4 letter words .... "what?"..."when?" ??? Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere. Your husband has a night out with the guys but he's home by 9:00 P.M. ...next week it will be 8:30 P.M. You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it. Now that your husband has retired .... you'd give anything if he'd find a job! You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet .... 2 of which you will never